The Healthcare Manager's Playbook

This is the ninth post in a twelve-part series exploring key lessons I wish I had known before becoming a director for the first time. This series is inspired by a common question I hear from new directors I help onboard: “What do you wish you had known before you became a director?”

Today’s focus is a tough but essential leadership principle that I wish I had better understood when stepping into the director role for the first time: do not act out of emotion. While this principle is easy to understand, it can be very difficult to practice in real time, especially when situations feel pointed or personal.

There will be moments when someone on your team disappoints you or when a situation triggers strong emotions. Those moments are rarely the right time to give feedback, solve problems, or make decisions. Let the initial emotions pass. Allow the sting to wear off. If possible, sleep on it. When your mindset returns to its normal calm state, you will be far better equipped to respond in an appropriate manner.

As a leader, you are highly visible. Your mood, words, and attitude influence the tone and behavior of your team. When you are calm and focused, your team is more likely to be calm and focused as well. When frustration or negativity shows up in your leadership, those same emotions often spread quickly throughout the department.

Even when your reaction feels justified in the moment, it can create ripple effects that last far longer than the emotion itself. Emotions are temporary. Emotions can deceive. Most of us have experienced being upset about something, only to feel very differently after stepping back or learning more information. That reframing is a natural part of processing situations, and leaders should learn to allow for it.

If you rush to address an issue while emotionally charged, you risk undermining your message and damaging trust. Even if you carefully choose your words, your tone, posture, and facial expressions often reveal what you are really feeling. Most people can sense frustration, disappointment, or irritation even when it is not explicitly stated. We are not trained actors and cannot hide it.

Emotional reactions also make it harder to keep the team focused on patient care and progress. They can cause team members to become defensive or disengaged, even when your intentions are good. One way to avoid this is to remember that there are always multiple sides to every story. Acting on a single perspective increases the risk of making an incomplete or unfair decision.

Assuming the best intentions is an important default. Most team members are professionals with advanced training who show up each day wanting to do good work. As leaders, are default mindset should be our team is trying to take great care of patients. Avoid speaking negatively to or about your team. Leaders sometimes compare their teams to children or refer to themselves as parent figures, even jokingly. This mindset is dismissive and unproductive. Your team members are peers and professionals, not dependents.

If you feel emotional but still need to address a concern, give yourself time. Schedule time the next day or say something simple like, “Let me think about this and we will get back together again tomorrow.” When an immediate response is required, neutral phrases such as “Thanks for bringing this up” or “That is helpful to know” allow you to acknowledge the issue without escalating the moment. It is almost always better to pause than to say something you later regret.

Written feedback, especially through texts or emails, is particularly risky when emotions are high. Written words lack tone and context, and they live on long after the moment has passed. It is better to save difficult conversations, performance concerns, and emotionally charged topics for face to face meetings or phone calls, where tone, empathy, and real time dialogue can help prevent misunderstandings. However, If you must write, follow a simple rule of thumb: be twice as kind and half as long as you think you need to be.

Strong leadership requires emotional discipline. This does not mean ignoring or suppressing your feelings, but it does mean choosing how and when you act on them. A calm, well timed response builds respect and credibility, keeps the team focused on solutions, and protects the culture of providing great patient care.

About the Author: Shane Haas serves as the National Director of Outpatient Services at Ernest Health, a leading provider of inpatient and outpatient rehabilitation. He enjoys learning and sharing leadership and management principles. His backgrounds in Physical Therapy (UF ’96) and Industrial Engineering (TTU ’02) provide a balanced heart and head perspective that shapes the Healthcare Managers’ Playbook.

References:

Manager Tools. (2016, September 18). Eliminating bad attitudes – Part 1 [Audio podcast episode]. In Manager Tools. https://www.manager-tools.com/2016/09/eliminating-bad-attitudes-part-1

Goldsmith, M., & Reiter, M. (2007). What got you here won’t get you there: How successful people become even more successful. Hyperion.